God Himself is the Greatest Blessing

I just finished my BSF Genesis study. I came in at the end of the year so I only went 3 weeks. But I love how God works. He put BSF on my heart and got me there just so He could answer a prayer.

My desire for another baby has been long-suffering. I didn't even want God to tell me if it was His will for us to have another baby because my emotions bias me…we asked God to tell Tim. But He knows better. He told me during an unexpected BSF lecture last week.

The message wasn't anything dramatically obvious, but you KNOW when the Holy Spirit is talking to you. Sometimes He is unmistakeable in His leading. So there aren't any huge and powerful words to describe His message to me, except these: God Himself is the greatest blessing we can hope for. But it was His presence at that moment that was powerful...and I knew. I knew what He was telling me.

And I was heartbroken.

My desire for another baby must have been rooted in selfishness and validation. I do have a desire to teach my children about Christ and see them choose Him and walk in His ways, but I don't need to have another baby to do that. My desire for another baby was partly about my feeling needed, wanted, special. I wanted another baby to validate me as a person, as a mother. But I already have that! God wants me, and because of Him I am special! I don't need it from another imperfect human being who can't live up to that expectation.

So my heart was broken when I learned of God's answer to my prayer. I couldn't even talk about it to Tim, or anyone (even my mom) that first day. But I did tell Tim the next day because he needed to know what God had said. He was also waiting for an answer. For about a week I was in tears when I was reminded of it or thought about it at all.

But yesterday was the week mark and I feel empowered and encouraged. I am still sad that my time is over and God did not see fit for me to have another child. But only when I focus on that am I discouraged and defeated. When I am able to focus on God Himself being my greatest blessing, I am encouraged! And excited!

What do you have in store for me, Lord? Help me bask in the glory and blessing of Your presence. And Your presence alone. Don't let me get distracted by the thought that you have something else coming for me. Maybe it's just a lesson in enjoying Your presence. And I know if this is your plan, it's the best and most fulfilling for me.

Gluten Free Bakery

Being gluten free is hard.  I've been doing it for 2 years.  It's a lot easier than it was at the beginning...I've learned how to deny myself and not let food control me.

(Yay me!)

That's always a good thing.

But there are still days when I just want a chocolate chip cookie.  Sometimes I want to have a piece of that delicious, mouth-watering birthday cake, even though I know it's not good for me.  But I resist...every time.  I am not one of those people who is "mostly" gluten free.  I do not cheat...EVER.

However, there are times at a Mexican restaurant that I don't ask if their tortilla chips are gluten free (most of the time they are, but not always).  So maybe you can consider that a cheat.

But I have not had bread, cake, cookies, pasta, or anything resembling these things in 2 years...that's 24 months...730 days.  I'm quite proud of myself, really.  I never thought I could do that.  But I also never thought my pain was caused by my food.

That's quite a motivator.

Tim and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on Monday (April 15 - yay tax day!).  We spent the night at our favorite hotel in Irving, TX and the next morning decided to venture out for breakfast.  It's hard for me to eat out...not at a sit-down restaurant as much, but fast food is nearly impossible for me.  We googled "gluten free" and found a place called Tu-Lu's Gluten Free Bakery which was just a few miles away from where we were.  We decided to give it a try.  I mean, if there's a whole actual bakery still in business, it must not be too bad.

Of course, my eyes were way bigger than my stomach when I walked in.  Everything looked so delicious and NONE of it was off limits.

That's a first...at least in 730 days.

We ordered:

• a chocolate chip cookie (yes, for breakfast)
• a mini cinnamon coffee cake
• a large slice of a pumpkin loaf
• a blueberry muffin
• a half loaf of their bread

I wanted more but decided I should show some restraint.

Good job, me.

They had donuts, cake balls, cupcakes (regular sized and mini), paninis, brownies...the goodness was never-ending.

I was a little nervous about trying them because what if they were awful?  I've had my share of gluten free goodies that tasted like feet.  Feet were not made for human consumption.

I started with the chocolate chip cookie - you must understand that this is probably the thing I miss the most...they are my favorite treat.

I was not disappointed.  I will be back, if for nothing else, at least for these!

The cinnamon coffe cake was as good as the cookie, nothing short of amazing.

The blueberry muffin was also amazing.  I just couldn't believe that each treat was as good as the previous one.

The pumpkin loaf was not my cup of tea.  I didn't care for it, but my husband, who is not gluten free loved it.

I still have yet to have the bread.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have a sandwich.

The best part of this whole story is that they have a website and you can order ONLINE!!!!!!!!

(I am doing cartwheels in the kitchen now.)

So if you are interested, I highly recommend it.  Take a look - Tu-Lu's Gluten Free Bakery.

What's Been On Your Mind Lately?

I know I've been posting a lot of videos, some of which are long, but people, these are words of truth!  This is good stuff and well worth watching.  I hope you'll grab a cup of coffee and take some notes.  This is God's Truth!  And He wants you to know it.

What's Been On Your Mind Lately?

The Mouth

Great word on our mouths and attitudes...

Ever shot a gun?

Have you ever shot a gun?  As of today, I have.

Most of us never need to, but my husband made me learn how to shoot today.  I'm glad I did it but I do NOT enjoy it.  At least I'm somewhat prepared if I ever need to be.

Battlefield of the Mind

If you aren't familiar with Joyce Meyer's book, Battlefield of the Mind, you must become acquainted with it.  It's an amazing tool God gave her to share with others because our minds are so deceiving!  My husband and I have read it twice and need to read it again.  We always need to be reminded of these truths.  Watch this video...

I am sharing videos with you because all these people can say it better than I can.  I wholeheartedly agree with the people I share on this blog, but they are speakers and writers and I am not.  :)  So I hope you glean great wisdom from God through them.

Do you have a guilty conscience?

A great take on a guilty conscience by Beth Moore...